I’m in love, and I just found my next husband.
Current husband’s aside, this next husband has everything I want.
A sense of humour that would keep me giggling right through days spent sitting in our rocking chairs in the retirement home, generosity, kindness and patience…oh, and he’s tall.
Oh and did I mention the best part? He GETS fiction writing and what makes a good story. He knows everything there is to know about making a story elicit emotion in a reader or viewer and – AND - he is a Hollywood scriptwriter – so he KNOWS people. Maybe he would hook me up with Brad Pitt.
I met him in a smoky room, our eyes met across the throngs of people clamouring for his attention. Everyone wanted a piece of him….but I had dibs on him first. He’s mine.
In the end I had to share him with 90 other women.
Scriptwriters, writers of every genre and, specifically on this occasion, romance writers, all want him. He is a wanted man, and I, being the girl of adventure and living on the edge, LOVE a wanted man.
I sat in Kwantlen College, Richmond, BC, at the Write On, Vancouver conference hosted by the Greater Vancouver Chapter of Romance Writers of America. Already having gorged myself on bagels and cream cheese and a few pieces of token fruit (to ease the guilt from all the cream cheese), I raptly listened to a Q&A panel with editors from Harlequin and Samhain Publishing. But I was anxious to see what Michael Hauge had to say for himself.
And by the end of the day, I was in love.
His workshop, Story Mastery, taught the art of eliciting emotion in a story, and outer and inner conflict in characters. And the number one thing I learned? If your story isn’t going anywhere, revisit your characters’ outer motivation.
By the end of the day, I knew what MY outer motivation was; to convince him to come for a ‘sleepover’ at my house – BUT NOT FOR WHAT YOU THINK. Man, if I could get that guy to come to my house for a nasty weekend of manuscript coaching, I would be the NEXT BIG THING.
As I write this, I am about to attend the last day of the conference and soak-up every juicy word, wealth of knowledge and experience he has to offer. I will sit up front and hope that my ever-batting eyelashes will coax him over for a coaching session, or two.
His books, Selling your Story in 60 Seconds (Michael Wiese Productions, 2006), and Writing Screenplays that Sell – 20th Anniversary Edition (Harper Collins, 2011) – are in my possession and now autographed by him (SWOON!). Accompanied by the copious notes I took, all are sure to get me on my way – to successful, publishable writing.
I am heading in now for day two of the conference as I write this, and I won’t eat so many bagels this time. A girls’ gotta watch her figure ya know, if she knows what good for her…manuscript.
Back off, ladies - he's MINE.
Check out the delectable Michael Hauge at www.StoryMastery.com
Lisa -
ReplyDeleteI HAD NO IDEA....
My vision not being as good as it might be, I totally missed your batting eyelashes today, so I'm afraid I was unaware of your deep feelings for me. But proposals of marriage don't come my way nearly as often as you might think, so i'm very happy you were willing to write out your intentions.
At first, i must confess, i was quite taken with your offer. You sounded very sincere, you immediately invited me for a sleepover, and you seem willing to share me with 90 other women. These are the kind of qualities I look for in a girl.
But after serious consideration, i'm afraid I must decline....
To begin with, you apparently already have at least one husband. It's not that i'm not willing to share, but some spouses (stogy, old fashioned ones who don't appreciate that rules don't apply to storytellers) frown on such open relationships. And since clearly you like tall men, what if he's taller than me? This is a confrontation I don't want to risk.
Also, i must say that you seem a bit fickle. No sooner had you expressed your desire for me, than you were wanting me to introduce you to Brad Pitt. Now as close as Brad and I are, I'm not eager to hook the two of you up. I have this nagging feeling that soon you'd be wanting HIM for a husband, completely forgetting how juicy my words are. Then Angelina and I would be left alone with just our bitter memories.
Finaaly, upon reading over your blog, i realize i completely misinterpreted your invitation for a sleepover - and that referring to me as THE NEXT BIG THING wasn't at all what I took it to mean.
So I'm afraid our matrimony just isn't meant to be. But take heart - you will always have my autograph (SWOON). And it's really for the best. A tawdry one night coaching session would just make you feel cheap, and would never bring you the passion and fulfillment that your writing can.
So be brave, never forget me, and please pass the bagels.
Yours always,
Michael
So this is way out of hand, Lisa.
ReplyDeleteFirst you make a play for Michael Hauge which, okay, I get. But now you've got MY husband laughing his head off and thinking you're the next big thing and that maybe you get fiction writing better than I do and, frankly, that's not cool.
Unless you're willing to swap Michael for my guy?
Let me know…
Oh yes - I hear you, when one unearths a writing guru, one doesn't want to share.
ReplyDeleteHow very cool, that Michael after a very long day of pulling writers through the Six Stages of Plot Structure would have lots of energy to reply to your matrimonal request.
Lisa, don't think of Michael's response as a rejection. Think of it as an opportunity to compile your copious notes into The Naughty Girl's Guide to Writing Fiction.
ReplyDeleteMy dearest Michael,
ReplyDeleteAs you know, the writer's life can be consumed with rejection. And I, the consumate professional that I am, will take your rejection with grace, humility, and with the utmost professionalism. To that end, you will not find any boiled rabbits in your kitchen.
I want to thank you for all your support and insight this weekend at the Write On, Vancouver Conference this weekend. Acknowledging that you gave much time, energy and likely came home exhausted, I need to ask one more favour: could I at least have Brad's number?
Thank you for reading and responding, and for your gentle rejection....
Forever yours,
Lisa
Hi Rachel - no swapping; I don't share. Lisa
ReplyDeleteThank you Jodie for reiterating that I don't, and wouldn't want to, share. This is the new age; women should be bold, propose, and not share. Thank you for reading!
ReplyDeleteHi Lee, Thank you for reading and suggesting this - compiling a book proposal for a new reference book, now. Lisa
ReplyDeleteOkay, now I'M swooning. Lisa, you have more guts than Dick Tracy.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Shelley! I am truly flattered. I have to say, however, that I am still hoping he changes his mind! Thank you for reading! Lisa
ReplyDeleteAwww!! Here I'd thought of propositioning him myself but forced on the old control button...after all, he is tall!
ReplyDeleteAnd see?? No guts no glory!
What a coup…!
Hi Mimi! Thank you for reading and writing! yes, what a coup, indeed. And yes, that is my latest mantra - no guts, no glory. How true it is! Lisa
ReplyDelete