Sunday, February 27, 2011

Write Naked, Exfoliate, Then Flash ‘em

Put your butt in that chair, pick up your pen, and fire up your computer.

And as you do, strip down, bare it all, and write naked.

Bare everything, even if it’s saggy, hairy and a bit too flabby for your liking. You don’t have to show anyone your naked writing; it’s for the privacy of your own room or bathroom. This is the writing that, after working through all the layers of clothing, is what is underneath - your heart and soul.

Who cares about the pimples, bunions, warts or other weird-growths-we-will-not-discuss. They can always be removed later. Just keep writing - write naked.

Drop your Drawers – Lose Your Inhibitions

Authentic naked writing from the depths of your gut means ignoring all the restrictions swirling around in your head. Lose the bras, the belts, the garters, the corsets – anything restrictive and binding. Lose those inhibitions – including your drawers.

Those drawers are the final step - if you’re truly going to bare it all. Like the tiniest seed of doubt in the back of your mind, they are the hardest to let go. Self-doubt and second-guessing will limit and cramp your writing if you don’t take a deep breath and ignore whatever else is in your head. Be brave and bold, and let go –of your hold on your boxers. No one has to see anything if you don’t want them to.

So drop ‘em – and write.

So Ya Wanna Show it Off?

Your new-found freedom has released you, and you have decided to submit your work – yourself – to agents or publishers. GREAT! You are braver than you thought! And even better, you (hopefully) have a writing partner or editor to peek at your work for you.

But before you show your partner or editor, get out the tweezers and depilatories and start editing. If you intend on putting it all out THERE, you need to give your work a total body overhaul. But keep in mind - your naked writing is NOTHING to be ashamed of. This is YOU; who YOU are.

Your naked writing needs to be showered, shaved, and tweezed within an inch of its life – edited like there’s no tomorrow. Like those who go to the aesthetician for buffing, polishing and removing of the unwanted, unnecessary and redundant, your writing needs the same kind of treatment.

Everyone needs a good haircut and nail trimming now and then.

Exfoliate, Exfoliate, Exfoliate

You have removed every hair visible, and you have sent your work to your writing partner or editor. This can be scary - this first REVEAL. Don’t let modesty get in the way, covering up those sensitive areas with a towel. Don’t start making excuses for this roll here, that flab there. They have to see it all if they are going to help you. They will find the hairs you missed and the warts between your toes. Let them exfoliate your work. Don’t let their comments get you down; learn from them and improve yourself – your writing.

But as you hesitate dropping the towel in exposing your work, remember to ask yourself: how badly do you desire publication? How badly do you want to share and be heard by more than just your cat? Your peers won’t bite; they want you as beautiful as possible. And when they have finished exfoliating your work, listen to their beauty tips, go soak in the tub, and exfoliate some more.

Time to Flash ‘em

You have primped, preened and perfected your work, becoming brave and bold with your naked writing. You should be proud of yourself! Look at how far you have come since first dropping your drawers! Liposuction worked (less is more, remember), and you have rid your writing of all the unwanted stuff. Your lean, fat-free work is ready to submit to publishers.

But before licking the stamp or sending the email, ask yourself; with all the tweezing, exfoliating and liposuction, have you kept the YOU in your writing?

Take care to not jeopardize the YOU in your naked writing. Don’t try to be like anyone else. Forget face-lifts, injections, implants, and Botox. They might look great on the surface, but your naked writing - your authentic writing - would be lost in the silicone.

So take a deep breath, forget about injections or implants, and send out your heart, soul, and your naked self. Flash agents and publishers your best, and only your best. You have come this far – why stop now? Just do it!

Don’t Shimmy Into Those Undies Just Yet...

You have taken a deep breath and bravely, and confidently, submitted your work - and now you wait. Get dressed and head out for a celebratory something-or-other with a writing buddy - you deserve it! But that’s it. Don’t sit around waiting in your comfy undies, covering up everything. Get naked and get writing.


  1. Thank you, Janelle! And remember, clean pores are happy pores. L

  2. I will never look at tweezers the same way again…

  3. Rachel....tweezers are a girls' best friend...Lisa