Copper Socks

So…here’s the thing.

All I wanted to do was buy my dad a pair of socks for his birthday. That’s it, that’s all.

I had struggled to figure out what to buy the man who has everything – except for a Chrysler Prowler.

A worldly kinda guy who, despite the increase in age (I don’t forget that my age is ever-increasing, as well), is very hip and knowledgeable in this high-tech world we are in. He has fancy computers, high-tech cameras, and super-duper gizmos of every kind. All the stuff a semi-retired Dad needs and wants.

So I wracked my brain – what TRULY speaks DAD? What can I give him that shows I TRULY put in a lot thought?

SOCKS!!!

Yes, my friend - socks. But these were not to be just ANY old socks, as I would soon find out.

Dad started a new ‘fitness regime’ some time ago – power-walking. I am extremely proud of him. And although, much to my dismay, he does not wear sweat bands reminiscent of the Jane Fonda 80’s exercise hype, he wears good walking shoes we shopped for together.

He hates shopping.

So knowing that he is likely wearing men’s dress socks during his walks, I figured HEY! I can get him PROPER sports socks!

So off to the store I went, very proud and excited of my GREATEST IDEA EVER!

I was holding a pair of high-tech looking sport socks, when a very excited sales girl came rushing up to me.

“Oh, those are just PERFECT!” (How does she know, I wondered?) “But we have women’s socks over there!”

“Thank you, but these are for my Dad.” I divulged, but then I couldn’t keep my mouth shut. “He’s a power-walker.”

She got even MORE excited. “Oh perfect then! Those are perfect as they are made with REAL copper, and are PERFECT for controlling odour and fungus! Carefully woven into the air-breathing fabric, copper has been proven to prevent fungus and odour, and these would be perfect for your Dad and his power-walking! And….” (I might have zoned out for a bit, missing some of what she said.)

All I wanted was to buy a darn pair of socks.

Even though I was giggling inside, I wanted to whack her over the head with the amount of exclamation marks she was using (but she was very nice, I have to add). I wished so bad that Dad was there to witness the conversation. He would have had a giggle – he’s just that kinda guy. We generally don’t talk about those kinds of things, but this would have been a great ice-breaker to venture into unchartered conversational territory.

“Well,” I said, trying to control myself, “I’m not sure he has those kinds of problems.” (Oh God, how I wished Dad was there!)

“Yes, but the socks are PREVENTATIVE!” Exclamation-mark-sales-clerk said, her eyes widening in excitement. I swear her eyes were about to pop out of her head.

“Well, then! I guess I SHOULD get them!”

I got a tad excited, myself; I was looking out for Dad’s health and well-being, in a PREVENTATIVE sense. How PERFECT!

Oh dear - I hope the darn things don’t turn green.

So not only did Dad get a new pair of socks for his birthday – and a three-pack, at that – but it gave us a story to talk about for years to come.


And if all else fails, he can take them to a copper recycler and cash ’em in for big bucks - he’s gonna need 'em if he wants that car.